Choosing Friends


“There are a lot of people who seek solitude but none who can withstand it”

Human beings are social creatures, since the day we are born and till the day we die we keep on making connections. Most of our lives are spent revolving around those we love and care about. It is essential to highlight that there are many we pass by during our life’s journey but only a few stay with us for a life time. What makes these people stand out amongst the rest?

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people; it is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. It is crucial in our life and can be stronger than many bonds. Stacia Peirce writes that if anyone wants to predict where they will be after 5 years they can accurately do so. She says “If you want to know how, the answer is simple: by the company you keep. The people you associate with have a major impact and influence on your personal success. You can tell where most people are going to end up in life simply based on who they hang around.”

One of the most important characteristics of a good friend is trustworthiness. Friends whom one can trust are like a blessing, you always know they got your back. They are always there when you want to confined in them your secrets or if you want their advice, and they never let you down.

There are all sorts of people out there so choose your friends wisely. From my experience it’s always best to choose people who motivate you, support you, have common interests like you, and above all, accept you for who you are. You don’t have to act like someone else when you are with them. I agree that every person has flaws but be friends with people who can help you balance in areas where you are weak. Life is about learning new things and gaining experiences, try befriending those who have a thirst for knowledge, and remember knowledge is power!

Islam teaches us that friendship with one whose religion or lifestyle you trust and who is trustworthy, both inwardly and outwardly, can contribute towards one’s spirituality. In a hadith the prophet (pbuh) used a metaphor to distinguish between a good friendship and a bad friendship:

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.”

(Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Choosing the right friends is easier said than done. There are a lot of factors contributing to the relationship, and somehow its gets disappointing when people around don’t understand you. Finding true friends needs some intuition and simple testing. Ancient proverb says:

“An untried friend is like an uncracked nut.”

If you want to find a true friend why not be one yourself. Always treat people the way you want them to treat you, never look down upon anyone and give a helping hand to those in need you never know what greatness might be hidden in them. Not long from now, when you have lived your life to the fullest hopefully you can look back and say this about your friends:

“After all it’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember”

 Deco Ryuu


6 thoughts on “Choosing Friends

  1. Great reflection. It is something I tell myself every day. Finding true friends is like pruning a rosebush. You keep the ones that will bloom nicely and trim the ones that won’t thrive. I’m a loner at heart so seeking out friends is not something I’m accustomed to doing. However, when I receive their attention, I treat them as treasures; a blooming bouquet of roses. x

    Liked by 1 person

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